Homer, Shakespeare, and a Substack writer go to heaven.
God is standing at the gate.
"Your writing will determine whether you may enter heaven."
Homer is up first.
He hands God "The Odyssey".
God can't put it down. He reads Odysseus' epic journey in one sitting.
God shakes Homer's hand and opens the gate for him.
Next up is Shakespeare.
He gives God "Macbeth".
God weeps reading Macbeth's tragic descent into madness.
He lets Shakespeare in.
Finally, the Substack writer is up.
God asks to see his work.
"Sorry", he says.
"Subscribers only."